Are you going “all in” on change or is it more of a “that would be nice but…”
What do you want?
Like what do you really, really, reaaaaallllllllyyyy want? (Are you getting the crushing importance of that question?)
This is not a casual lunch order or a choice between a sensible wedge or 4-inch stilettos. (My feet literally ache at the thought of 4 inches these days!)
What do I really want? That’s the first question. What do I want to change about my life? What do I waaaaaaaaaaanntt? Emphasis always on “I”. Not your mom, not your kids, not your spouse or best friend. Not what’ll make you look good in the eyes of others—life note: DO NOT be that person because every day you do the things you think you “should” do to look good in front of the rest of the world, you’re sticking a push-pin into your soul and it hurts and you have to numb the pain and that pain/numb cycle of living and dying at the same time is a major killjoy. (Did Dr. Phil just walk into the room?)
Anyway. Do you want better health? A cure for incessant snacking? A lot less weight in and around your belly? To stop being inconsistent with EVERYTHING? To no longer yearn for enchiladas smothered in cheese?
Pick one thing you want to accomplish, change, or create — just one for now — and write it down. Seriously, on a piece of paper because things happen when thoughts travel from mind to hand — something always gets triggered right around the heart area and it bleeds out through the hand.
Second question, how do you think you’re going to feel pursuing that goal? How are you going to feel along the way (i.e the journey), and how are you going to feel when you achieve your change, your desire, your goal? Write down 10 feelings/emotions. And take special note if the words “miserable”, “full of dread”, or “hopelessly unhappy” come forth—you may want to fine-tune or tinker with your goal a little.
Third question: what are you going to do differently right now that’ll move you in the direction of change? 5-10 things you’re going to do – right now! These can be next steps, ideal behavior, or a change in thought patterns—hint: “change in thought patterns” is a REALLY GOOD starting point!
Last question: Write down – once your hand cramp subsides – what you believe is standing in your way of achieving your goal, making that change, or accomplishing your desire. Give me 10 things, people, reasons, natural disasters that are standing in your way right now that are keeping you from going all in.
If you’ve taken the time to answer these questions (and I trust you have!), what you have before is a newly discovered treasure trove of priceless intel about you and your relationship to change. You’ve uncovered so much in fact, that your next step into a new unknown should have just bitchslapped you across the face it’s that obvious. You have just tapped into a hidden swell of inspiration and insight and realized that you’re either on Team “All In” or Team “That Would Be Nice But…”
Normally at this point, you’re feeling a little stuck — old thoughts are resurfacing and even though you want change, and you know what you need to do to get started, you’re still unable to push the envelope fully across the table because that would mean you’ve made a commitment to change and that’s scary as all seven layers of hell. This means only one thing—you MUST make a decision. Do you go all in, or do you move on? No bad feelings if you think moving on is the right choice—you’ll then be free from the low-hanging guilt that gets you every time and you can happily pursue other things with a peaceful heart.
But for your sake, you’ve got to make a decision. Once you decide, you’ll discover how powerful it is to make decisions. They’re super accelerators to change, like you turned on ludicrous speed, and shoved kryptonite in the face of wishy-washy, feeble attempts that are made to look real but are nothing more than a slight flip of the wrist. A lot of us make feeble attempts to change, but we’re capable of SO MUCH MORE!
You’re worth every bit of energy it will take to achieve what feels impossible to you—because “impossible” isn’t the problem. The real thing that’s getting in the way is the lack of conviction and certainty needed to make a decision and stick with it.
That’s all you have to do. Make the decision and it’s done. It can’t be any other way.
Let me help you go ‘“All In”!
If you’re ready to go “all in” and become a change-maker, if you’re ready to stop thinking about where it all went wrong and why you can’t seem to get out from underneath your own double-insulated blanket of dread and loathing—I’m here to help you!
Our Goal: to make you a change-maker! To do the daring, the bold, the scary, and the brave things so you are able to crack your shell, emerge from the warm comforts of your safe space, and get you accomplishing some awesome-inducing badass goals around health and wellness. (The kind of change that will have you sashaying down the grocery store aisle while the others whisper “what’s in her basket”.)
My Change-Maker Coaching is one-on-one coaching and enrollment begins the first week of May. Get on the waitlist today by emailing me at am@amcostanzo.com
Let go “all in” together!
